In this house we celebrate the Saturnalia!

Frair Aguousto: Italians take the month of August off. I’m sorry, I meant to write ‘ Italians take the MONTH of August OFF’. They don’t ‘take it easy’. Or ‘go on vacation’. OFF! The trash will pile up in the streets! If there is a gas leak, lord help us all! The fire department takes the month off! I’m sorry, I meant ‘ THE FIRE DEPARTMENT TAKES THE MONTH OFF!”. Trash in the streets! Gas leaks! No Fire Department! It would be mass hysteria in America, but here? A languid and enviable calm.  My new goal in life is to be able to do this. And I’m making my own holiday.                                                                         A bit of history: to make Christianity go down smoother with the Romans, a popular Roman holiday was tweaked and Christmas was born. If you read the bible, Jesus was actually born in Spring… something about lambs suckling and sheep grazing, anyways. The holiday was the incredibly popular feast of Saturn (Saturnalia), a mid-winter festival of drinking, debauchery and foodstuffs held around the first two weeks of December.  December 25^th was a date chosen out of ecumenical politics. So, my new goal in life is to be happily married with a few kids and then just friggin’ opt out for two months of the year. Ideally, December 1^st I will wake up, put on a toga, crash on the couch and watch Star Trek while my kids figure out how to make their own lunches and get to school. IF they want to go. We celebrate the Saturnalia in this household! Do what you feel! And as for driving them to soccer practice in August? Listen, if I’m not worried about the gas leak, I’m certainly not worried about you practicing your side-pass kid!

Life in Italy

It’s the little things that remind me I live in Italy.


The base grocery store also sells furniture which they set outside under the awning with big yellow price tags affixed. Local Italian nationals take advantage of the luxurious free outdoor seating and have their coffee while acting as living advertisements for a plush new sectional couch. The management doesn’t particularly like them breaking in the furniture, but what are they going to do?

I will be running specimens to the Hospitals lab and walk over the glass-topped excavation of a Roman well. Sometimes (if Cancer results aren’t on the line) I’ll just stand on top of the glass and look down at something older than Jesus. This happens roughly once a week.

The Neapolitan dialect is said to notoriously different from regular Italian. I have a theory: Naples actually pre-dates the Roman Empire as a bustling metropolis. Naples here in Italy is called “Napoli”, which is derived from “Neopolis” or “New City”, which is what the Greeks called it when they founded it. I think chunks of Greek are leftover in Neapolitan and that’s why it’s peculiar. Point: To say ‘half’ in Italian is ‘metta’. In Neapolitan it is ‘messa’. “Half” or “between”/”middle” in Greek is ‘mes’ (see: ‘Mesopotamia’= ‘the place between the rivers’). Not that I can speak one friggin’ word of either of these fine languages.

I wake up every morning to Mount Vesuvius outside my window. Ominous? Only if you dwell on the thought of Pompeii.

We all need a lesson in Italian self-esteem. Is an item of clothing tight? Is it shiny? Is said item an offensive color (Neon Yellow? Screaming Eggplant?)? Is it sheer enough to see one’s undergarments through it? Yes? They will wear it. Their belly paunches will stick out. Every cellulite ridge will clear its throat and demand attention. And they walk out the door thinking (insert big smile and double finger-snap here) ‘I look goooood!’. Sun-blotched décolletage will be flaunted. Cracked, dry feet will be on display in precarious open toed heels. And you can see bras and underwear quite clearly. A true story/lesson: At my favorite outdoor market, there are heaps of random clothes piled high on tables you can pick through under a sign that says “1 for 1 Euro”. In an attempt to dress more “flashy” (re: Italian) I picked up an offensive Neon Yellow, stretchy, sheer (yes you can see my underwear through it), and revealing dress that looked about 2 sized too small. Whatever. It’s ONE Euro! Why not? I bought it as a joke. Took it home. Washed it. Tried it on for the first time. FELT LIKE A SUPERMODEL. Maybe confidence is something they weave into the fabric here? 60% Cotton, 30% Rayon, 10% Girl, You Look Good!

Italians, or at least Neapolitans, LOVE fireworks. I cannot overemphasize the Italian zeal for colorful shit that explodes high in the air. There were fireworks my first night here and I won’t lie, I felt like they were for me. The ones two nights later were still for me. And the ones a week after that. Around Labor Day is when I realized that this was a trend before I arrived here and not dependant on my mood (they seemed timed to punctuate my emotional state… sheer coincidence… or IS it, hmmmm?). The fireworks that “kicked off Labor Day” (more on the quotations in a minute) were spectacular! A 40 minute display of the largest, highest, loudest, brightest fireworks I’d ever seen! 3,000 years ago, the Chinese invented fireworks for the sole purpose of exquisite culmination on this night in Italy: the beginning of the American holiday of Labor Day! Now, about those corkers actually being for “Labor Day”? Nope. I live in Italy, they don’t know or care what the hell Labor Day is and if they did know they would celebrate the Italian way by taking the month off. Another coincidence. Fireworks here are used for everything from celebrating a sweet-16, to blessing a harbor to forever have bountiful clams (not kidding), to various pillars of the community (Mafia crime lords) getting released from jail (again, not kidding). So every time I stood on my balcony and enjoyed the show, someone was either coming of age, ensuring a good haul for next year, or getting out of prison. As I write this, there are fireworks outside my window. Not kidding.

Orders!

So this is how it went:

1630: Return from full day of clinicals


1645: Take Quiz in classroom

1650: First student done with quiz goes to turn it in. Promptly returns to classroom and announces that no one can leave. We’re picking orders!

1651: MASS HYSTERIA!

1651: Student Leader passes word from Instructor’s Spaces to “not get too excited. The orders are not what they thought they were. No overseas billets. 5 FMTB (with the Marines) slots.”
1652-1734: Mass texting and facebooking about getting screwed over again by the Navy. Many “F^%k our lives” and “Do you think Virginia is nice this time of year” posts go up. We wait for nightcrew to come back from clinical to pick with us.


1740: Nightcrew comes back. Instructor comes in to classroom and shares updated GPA list with us. IMPORTANT as we pick by GPA.


1750: Instructor begins to write Orders on the board. Looks like this:

Okinawa, Japan (2 billets) Great Lakes, Chicago (1 Dental billet) Bethesda, MD (1 billet) Guantanamo Bay, Cuba (1 billet) Yokosuka, Japan (2 billets) Iwikuni, Japan (1 FMF/Dental billet) Pensacola, Florida (1 FMTB billet) Naples, Italy (1 billet) USS Roosevelt, Virginia (1 billet) Lejune, North Carolina (1 billet) Lejune, North Carolina (2 FMTB billets) USS Mercy, San Diego (1 billet)


1800: I pick first. Naples, Italy.


In my head, I hope my life there is something like this…



Not even that big of a deal

I like my job. I like the fact I do fancy things like Total Knee Replacements, Bilateral Percutaneous Tenotomies, and other impressive medical words made into sentences that denote me getting suited up to cut someone open. See below.

I do find it a bit unnerving that after only 3 months, the WOW factor has abated.

I was doing a bowel resection where all the intestines had to be taken out and slopped into bags hanging off the side of the OR table. It was then my job to put my hands into these gut bags (yes, they are called that) and look for perforations. So here I am, literally elbow deep in bowel, and all I can think about is that I could really go for a nap. And a snack. I'm pretty sure there's an X-Files episode like that.

Oh well.

 

I see you shiver with antici..................................pation

Sometimes in life, there are these thrilling moments: The day we brought Axle (my horse) home. Opening my college acceptance letter. The day I left home. The commonality amongst them is change and the fulfillment of a long-term goal (one of my favorite things!).

We pick orders in less than two weeks and frankly, the anticipation is killing me! The excitement in the air is palpable. We see the class ahead of us, who have already picked, high fiving, hear their congratulatory exclamations, and smell the celebratory libations on their breath. The thrilling part? WE’RE NEXT!!!

Picking orders is a culmination of lots of hard work, a momentous change and no small amount of faith that the Universe has a plan for us. We may not get what we want, but many of us feel that wherever we wind up- that is where we are supposed to be. Call it a coping mechanism. Call it acquiescing to God’s will. Whatever it is, the sentiment remains that we all did our personal best here and now it’s time to move on.

I’m still holding out for Naples, but it’s a long shot. A rundown of orders available to the first class is as follows: Mainland Japan, Okinawa, Guam, San Diego, Florida, and South Carolina.  Slim pickin’s. Throw in the fact that those who picked Japan (Okinawa included) are being placed on hold here INDEFINITELY! With that factored in, I almost want to pick San Diego over Japan because if you keep up with my facebook, you know I can’t stand it here.

Facebook profile quote: 
 “This wallpaper is killing me. One of us has to go.”

                                             -Last Words of Oscar Wilde

   Replace “wallpaper” with “command” and you have my life here.

So perhaps San Diego? Who knows. It's a fun ride just waiting to find out where life will take me.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain

"A ship in harbor is safe-- but that is not what ships are built for." - John A. Shedd



Making Friends with the Residents

I work in the OR. Rule number one in that world: Make the Surgeon happy. They can be mean and scary. They will throw instruments and curse at you. They live by a pecking order and if you don’t rank high enough, they will make your life miserable.

Being in the medical field in the Military sets you apart from the regular caste system of the Hospital pecking order.  Normally, it looks something like this:

Being in the Military sets us apart. I can say with honesty I’ve never been yelled at, belittled or pushed around… AFTER I tell them I’m with the Navy. Before, I got a lot of “Who the Hell are you and why are you in this Operating Room?”, “Hey Asshole, are you new?”, and who could forget “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! You are so wrong!”.

Now, when I walk into the OR, the first thing out of my mouth is “Hi, I’m in the Navy and I could very well be deployed to Afghanistan to work on blown-up Soldiers and Marines so I’m going to need you to be extra nice and explain everything to me like I’m four. Also, it’s my first day.”

The mood in the OR immediately shifts. The surgeon is delighted to have me. “Please, retract this Hepatic Artery and get a good look at the Duodenum, you’ll need to know these things when you are saving lives in Afghanistan, what is it like in the Navy?, How long have you been in? Aren’t you a little tall to be on a ship? Ha ha ha!”

Because I am no longer a target for the Surgeon’s rage, it turns to one place and one place only. His Resident. Because the thing about the Hospital pecking order is, it actually looks like this:

They are treated worse than a Boot-Camp Sailor with a speech impediment. They are always wrong. They are trash. They are worthless. I feel bad for them. My friend Boddy was working with one and he dropped an instrument on the floor. Boddy apologized immediately. The Resident? He said “It’s OK. I’m a piece of Shit”.

Spring Reading

Much of Navy life revolves around a “hurry up and wait” mentality. We had literally thousands of pages of information to absorb to get through Corps School in the allotted time. Same here at “C” school. But we only get the material when we “class up” (start class), so when we are stuck on hold for months at a time it’s hard to shut down that section of your brain that’s responsible for mass information input.

When not actively in class, I kept my brain occupied by reading. A LOT. If you are looking to pick up a book, below are some recommendations.

A good read, but a bit high-brow for me. You’ll like it if you’re the literary-critic type, you can pick apart the symbolism for days.

Read it if you like: Family Ties, Horses Who Know When They’re Being Tricked, Blue-Eyed Babies Who Lift Curses, Poison That Runs In The Veins Of A Plant And The Veins Of Your Kin, The South, Magic, Teen Pregnancy.

Another amazing book. I liked World War Z more, but only because it was about things I already liked (International Relations, Complaining About the Military). Regardless, it’s still a five ! out of five ! book.

It is NOT an easy read! It’s dense and no lie, the author is a weird guy. He goes on strange tangents.

I would recommend this book if you like: Complaining About the Military, WWII, Nazis, Code Breaking, The Philippines, Computer Hacking, Gold Doubloons, Navy Officers Who Are Idiot Savants,  Going Back And Forth In Time, Computers.

 

When I'm bored, this is where my mind goes

 I miss my ponies. I loved growing up with my horse, Axle, in my backyard. It is my most sincere desire to finish up with the Navy and have that again. I may google other breeds of horse and fantasize about owning them, but I know in my heart, my future horse will be an abused Thoroughbred off the racetrack… just like Axle.

Thoroughbreds are best known for being racehorses.

That is what they were bred for, and they've been at if for a while.

They are a great all-purpose horse, and we use them to play polo!

Now I just have to work on getting out of the Navy, getting some abused Thoroghbreds and moving them here:

To be more specific, Here:

(Big Island, Hawaii)

How to include your family in your Navy experience: Mail Call

Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, read your magazines, and randomly lose every 5th item before delivering it to you.

How to include your family in your Navy experience: Hygiene

On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, turn your water heater temperature up to 200 degrees. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, turn the water heater off. On Saturdays and Sundays tell your family they use too much water during the week, so no bathing will be allowed.

Spring Reading

Much of Navy life revolves around a “hurry up and wait” mentality. We had literally thousands of pages of information to absorb to get through Corps School in the allotted time. Same here at “C” school. But we only get the material when we “class up” (start class), so when we are stuck on hold for months at a time it’s hard to shut down that section of your brain that’s responsible for mass information input.

When not actively in class, I kept my brain occupied by reading. A LOT. If you are looking to pick up a book, here are some recommendations.

As you can see, it gets five out of five stars! Amazing book! It took everything I liked about being an International Relations major in college and then added Zombies. What’s not to like? This was the best book I’ve read in the last six years.

It is incredibly well researched.  From the military slang and minutia (Zombie-proof Battle Dress Uniforms?!?) to the hyper-xenophobia indicative of North Korean foreign policy, the author put in the TIME!

I would recommend this book if you like: International Relations, Public Health Scares, Zombies, Complaining About the Military, Whales, Blind Japanese Guys Who Are Awesome, Marines, Psychology, The Chinese Navy, Hard Choices, Dogs, Zombies As A Metaphor For the Recession.

WORDGLOSS: A CULTURAL LEXICON

Only gets 4 stars as it’s more of an encyclopedia than literary work. It’s outstanding to read in chunks in between other tasks.

If you like: Etymology. This is different from Entomology. Which I learned in this book of Etymology.   

 

How to include your family in your Navy experience: Coffee

Make coffee using eighteen scoops of budget priced coffee grounds per pot; let the pot simmer for 5 hours before drinking.

How to include your family in your Navy experience: Watch

Place a podium at the end of your driveway. Have your family stand watches at the podium, rotating at 4 hour intervals. This is best done when the weather is worst. January is a good time.

How to include your family in your Navy experience: Situational Readiness

When your children are in bed, run into their room with a megaphone shouting that your home is under attack and ordering them to their battle stations, shouting, "Now general quarters, general quarters, all hands man your battle stations!"

Alternatively, set your alarm clock to go off at random during the night. At the alarm, jump up and dress as fast as you can, making sure to button your top shirt button and tuck your pants into your socks. Run out into the backyard and uncoil the garden hose.

Time them on getting to their respective stations. Then tell them it was only a drill and if this were the real thing, they would be dead.

How to include your family in your Navy experience: Food

Post a menu on the kitchen door informing your family that they are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for an hour. When you finally get to the kitchen, tell them you are out of steak, but they can have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they ignore the menu and just ask for hot dogs.

Also, make your family menu a week ahead of time without consulting the pantry or refrigerator.

Our new thing

It’s hard to keep your spirits up sometimes. Thankfully, I’m not alone here. My shipmates are my rocks. We invent funny things as coping mechanisms to deal with being here. This is one of them…

Take the above quote by LT Aldo Reins (Brad Pitt), and start applying it to everyday situations (MUST DO IT IN AN ACCENT!).

Examples:

“I didn’t come down from the Got-Damned Smokey Mountains of Tennessee, ‘cross 5,000 miles of water, fight my way through half of Sicily, and jump out of a fuckin’  Areo-plane to phone muster at 0500”

“I didn’t come down from the Got-Damned Smokey Mountains of Tennessee, ‘cross 5,000 miles of water, fight my way through half of Sicily,  and jump out of a fuckin’ Areo-plane to  do nothing in a classroom for 8 hours”

Try it out. I think you'll feel better.

In good company

I'm not really the "Military-Type", but I guess you don't have to be to serve in the Navy!
Other people who have served in the Navy that you would not have guessed...

These guys! Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis

Bill Cosby. Yes, THAT Bill Cosby. And he was a Corpsman!

Humphrey Bogart. Enlisted in WWI. Yes. He. Did.

David Lee Roth of Van Halen. Got kicked out for smoking pot. Duh.

Ron Moore. Writer of BSG and Star Trek. Inventer of the Borg. He's also from Chowchilla. So really, it's like these guys have served in the Navy as well...

 And these guys...

Matt Groening (Speculative). Creator of The Simpons. Scuttlebutt has it, he was a Nuke and the experience was the inspiration for Homer and his workplace, while the CO (a Rear Admiral... yes, that is what they are called) was the inspiration for Mr. Burns. Also, creator of Futurama. 

This pretty lady.. she is also a Corpsman. Shocking, yes?

Kirk Douglas

Speaking of Kirk's, I forgot to include the most famous (future) member of the Navy....

Also, this guy:

Life at METC as told through Futurama clips

 

We’re currently on our clinical rotations. I have nothing but lovely things to say about our Chain of Command in regards to their genuine concern that we come out of here the best darn Surg Techs in the Fleet. Really, they bend over backwards and go the extra mile to ensure we are getting the best possible education and experience.

That being said. We keep rotating our Clinical slots. Day shifts to Night Shifts to This Hospital to That Hospital yes you still have to Stand Watch and go to PT! It’s a bit wearing on the nerves. Kinda like this:

“When do we pick orders?” is a common question here. It’s what we’ve all been working so hard toward. Our light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Tragically, we can’t get a straight answer out of anyone. It’s not that the Command is withholding information: they just really have no idea. But instead of manning up and saying “I’m sorry Sailor, it’s a new Command and everything is a little jumbled. We have no clue what your future holds, even though the next two years of your life will be determined within the next month.”, we get the runaround. Just replace "Planet Express" with "Orders" and it kinda goes something like this:

On the plus side, we aren’t Army. They have 0 say in where they wind up. My control issues would really flair up at the thought of that.

We live next to the 68 Whiskey barracks (I don’t know Army slang, but it’s where the Army Combat Medics live), so we see what the Army goes through. It’s shocking. A completely different world from Navy-land. We may bitch and moan, but in general, we’re all quite happy to be here. All the Army personnel I’ve spoken to have a similar story: “I just wanted money for college, I didn’t know it would be like this”, “I can’t believe I signed 8 years of my life away without really thinking it through”. Kinda like this:





Exhaustion.

The Navy is no Army, that’s for sure! But it’s still tiring. Many of us rely on copious amounts of coffee to get us through our day, functioning like anything close to a human being. The Navy and coffee have a special relationship. It’s mentioned in our songs:

“They say that in the Navy, the coffee’s mighty fine”

“It looks like muddy water, and tastes like turpentine”

It’s considered bad luck to wash the coffee ring out of a Chief’s coffee mug. You can only walk around in uniform drinking water… or coffee. We have it brewing in the classrooms because our schedules are so jam-packed (Watch, Duty, Mando PT, Mando Fun, What had happed was), but we still need to be alert to learn. 

 But something happens when you’re going on NO sleep and 100 cups of coffee a day.

Time slows down.

Your pupils dilate.

You’ve gone so far beyond exhaustion, time and space have actually looped back around and now your mind is an acute tool, a finely tuned instrument able to absorb anything and function at a higher level of intelligence. 

 Commands are given, but your mind is moving so fast, you know what is coming next. You’re holding the tool the Surgeon needs before he says it. Instead of fumbling with blood-soaked needles, you smoothly hand them the next suture. You are ahead of the game! No, you’re outside the game. You’re floating above yourself, watching. It’s a trip. And it really happens. I would say its “kinda like this”, but it’s not. ITS EXACTLY LIKE THIS:





LEADERSHIP

As I’ve said previously, I have nothing but great things to say about our Chain of Command. They care. They are genuinely interested in our work and progress.

Our Watch leadership on the other hand… arg! They keep changing the game like it’s for our betterment. First watch was 24 hours, once a month. Then, it’s once every 9 days at a random time with random mustering. Now, you can’t leave the barracks if you’re on watch.

It’s not the fact it keeps changing. It’s the fact they’re so pedantic about it. They speak down to us like they are doing us a huge favor, changing the watchbill.

Also, the Watch leaderships HAS NO IDEA about what our Clinical rotations are like, so when they lecture us on the Plan of the Day (literally, the schedule for that day), it’s painfully obvious they have no idea what is going on.  Like this:





But that is the difference between “Big Navy”(see sidebar) and a Chain of Command. I know that our Captain is personally horrified by the fact that METC wants us to learn how to do surgery on 3 hours of sleep. But he has no choice. He is a cog in our Chain of Command, and METC is a “Big Navy” Command. When our COC tells us to do something, it usually makes sense.

Watch is part of METC. METC is a part of “Big Navy”. Our COC expects us to put in 110%. We do. Gladly. Our COC expects us to work hard. We do. Gladly. We’re all in this together. “Big Navy” expects us to blindly obey and then threatens us with consequences like docked pay (see previous post).  Big Navy is a Hypnotoad. Kinda like this:



Don't Ask, Don't Tell

So first off, there’s THIS: http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/dont-navy-discharge-sailor-falling-asleep-bed-man/story?id=13085487

If you can’t be bothered to read the article, in summation, “What had happed was…” (see side bar) two Sailors were watching a movie together on a bed in the barracks. They fell asleep. They woke up only when a roommate came in after getting off of watch at balls (midnight).

I HIGHLY recommend reading the article. If you do, I think you can agree with me that the major issue in this story is not two men falling asleep in the same bed. The larger issues are: 1) two men were watching Vampire Diaries , 2) the ABC reporter actually refers to them as “sleepy sailors”, and 3) the men were cited with dereliction of duty for "willfully failing to exhibit professional conduct in his room”.

Issues one and two are humorous, but I really do have a problem with issue number three.

 As far as “homosexual activity” is concerned, with the repeal of “DON’T ASK DON’T TELL”, I’m not sure they can charge these men with anything of that nature… not that I’m saying this was indeed “homosexual activity”, far from it. It’s just two sleepy sailors, watching a movie in a twin bed on the weekend: that’s my current life. 

 So the Navy is essentially telling me I can’t snuggle  in bed with my friend Strothers (also female) and watch Spartacus: Blood and Sand with the curtains drawn on a Saturday? WHAT?!? Also, we are on drugs. Not illegal ones! I was prescribed a sh!t ton of a military/industrial strength Elephant muscle relaxer for my Posterior Tibial Tendonitis, while my friend is on a steady stream of pain killers for a medical issue. If I were brought up on these charges, I’d be fighting it all the way to the top and speaking to the media. We are not doing anything against the rules. There is no alcohol involved. The drugs are prescribed to each of us respectively, and we are not sharing them. On a side note, this is what it’s like when I take my prescription and decide I want to talk to Neal:

My issue is that these men were alone, in their room, not on duty, not doing anything technically wrong. It is described by the Sailors lawyer as “a bizarre overreaction”.  I agree. I feel that there is much latent agitation over the repeal of DADT and the Navy is grasping at straws. They cannot be brought up on Homosexual charges, as being homosexual in the Navy is no longer verboten. Sexual activity is against the rules (gay or straight), but the roommate who turned them in could not attest to anything of a sexual nature. Charging them with “dereliction of duty” is a stretch at best. Plus, we have been told repeatedly by our Chain of Command: “Hey guys, DADT is over so if you have a gay roommate, get over it. Also, you’d better be fu#king cool with homosexuals from now on or we will have a problem. That is all.” So the Navy telling us one thing, and then having a “bizarre overreaction” to another is frustrating.

Additionally, while I don’t speak for everyone in the Navy, I can say with sincerity I have yet to meet anyone in it who has a real problem serving alongside anyone who identifies with the gay community. Maybe because we’re the Navy and we should be used to it? Just kidding! There are jokes floating around about the Navy being the most accepting of the fall of DADT because of ship life (IT’S NOT GAY IF IT’S UNDERWWAY!).  But really, I think it’s just because Navy life is EXHAUSTING, so exhausting! When I’ve been up for 28 hours, on watch, PT-ing (see sidebar) and you are my relief… it’s hard to care if you’re gay. Or African American. Or really, really in to Anime. Personal prejudices tend to fall by the wayside when you need your shipmate to help you out.

No one I’ve met in the Navy has cared if they work alongside members of the gay community; we care a lot more that a person shows up on time and does their job.

The coolest thing I've ever seen...

The Whipple
A pancreaticoduodenectomy is often referred to as a Whipple procedure. It is a major surgical operation involving the pancreas, duodenum, and other organs. This operation is performed to treat cancerous tumors on the head of the pancreas, malignant tumors involving common bile duct or duodenum near the pancreas.

In the case I assisted in, the patient had already undergone a radical gastrectomy (removal of the stomach). There were several large tumors on the patients pancreas, as well as malignancies on the patients duodenum (the first part of the small intestine). This particular case involved the removal of a major portion of the pancreas and the complete removal of the duodenum, leading to the anastomosis (to join together two hollow organs) of the jejunum (the middle part of the small intestine) to the common bile duct.

I was lucky to be chosen as part of the team, as these cases are so very rare. It was a thrilling experience and I’m glad to have had the opportunity!



A real-life picture, below:

Sorry if this grosses anyone out, but this is what it looked like... and it was SUPER COOL!

This is a pretty good play-by-play of the procedure, but you'll have to picture it without the stomach for the case I was in on. The patient had a long history of cancer.

I'll try to get pictures of me in the OR, but there is an awful lot of red tape!



Patent Ductus Arteriosus

This defect allows blood to mix between the pulmonary artery and the aorta.  Before birth an open passageway (the ductus arteriosus) exists between these two blood vessels.  Normally this closes within a few hours of birth.  When this doesn't happen, some blood that should flow through the aorta and on to nourish the body returns to the lungs.  A ductus that doesn't close is quite common in premature infants but rather rare in full-term babies.

If the ductus arteriosus is large, a child may tire quickly, grow slowly, catch pneumonia easily and breathe rapidly.  In some children symptoms may not occur until after the first weeks or months of life.  If the ductus arteriosus is small, the child seems well.  If surgery is needed, the surgeon can close the ductus arteriosus by tying it, without opening the heart.  If there's no other defect, this restores the circulation to normal.

Unfortunately for our little patient, the ductus arteriosus was QUITE large and required open heart surgery. The patient was three days old. Tiny, tiny rib spreader. Tiny, tiny suture. But the patient made a full recovery and is now home with mom and dad!

This was my first open-heart surgery. It was incredible. Really intensive. The procedure required a full cardiopulmonary bypass and the heart was stopped for a full 20 minutes!

Tiny! Don't worry, the patient is doing great, and is back at home by now.