In this house we celebrate the Saturnalia!

Frair Aguousto: Italians take the month of August off. I’m sorry, I meant to write ‘ Italians take the MONTH of August OFF’. They don’t ‘take it easy’. Or ‘go on vacation’. OFF! The trash will pile up in the streets! If there is a gas leak, lord help us all! The fire department takes the month off! I’m sorry, I meant ‘ THE FIRE DEPARTMENT TAKES THE MONTH OFF!”. Trash in the streets! Gas leaks! No Fire Department! It would be mass hysteria in America, but here? A languid and enviable calm.  My new goal in life is to be able to do this. And I’m making my own holiday.                                                                         A bit of history: to make Christianity go down smoother with the Romans, a popular Roman holiday was tweaked and Christmas was born. If you read the bible, Jesus was actually born in Spring… something about lambs suckling and sheep grazing, anyways. The holiday was the incredibly popular feast of Saturn (Saturnalia), a mid-winter festival of drinking, debauchery and foodstuffs held around the first two weeks of December.  December 25^th was a date chosen out of ecumenical politics. So, my new goal in life is to be happily married with a few kids and then just friggin’ opt out for two months of the year. Ideally, December 1^st I will wake up, put on a toga, crash on the couch and watch Star Trek while my kids figure out how to make their own lunches and get to school. IF they want to go. We celebrate the Saturnalia in this household! Do what you feel! And as for driving them to soccer practice in August? Listen, if I’m not worried about the gas leak, I’m certainly not worried about you practicing your side-pass kid!