I moved to Italy: Job Interviews or The Easiest Way To Get A Free Meal Ever

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Job Interviews or The Easiest Way To Get A Free Meal Ever

Job Interview #1
First-round interview for a position as projects manager on an organic farm in Hawaii.
The place: A restaurant where I met with the owner of the farm.
Food eaten: Gigantic fruit bowl with granola and yogurt, coffee, English muffin and fresh-squeezed OJ.

Job Interview #2
First-round interview for a position with an Environmental Advocacy Group.
The Place: A coffee-shop in Downtown Sacramento
Food Eaten: Largest extra-hot triple-foam White Chocolate Mocha with an extra Shot, Blueberry muffin.
Job Interview #3
Second-round interview for organic farm
The Place: T-Rex BBQ, the best organic BBQ in the Berkeley
Food Eaten: Slow-roasted pulled pork BBQ sandwich, red-cabbage and apple coleslaw, potato salad, two Sam Addams.

Job Interview #4
Adjunct Capitol Aid
The Place: La Bou Bakery in Downtown Sacramento
Food Eaten: Toasted bagel with cream-cheese, salmon, onions, capers, largest Sumatran coffee with extra room for milk.

Job Interview #5
Second-Round interview for Environmental Advocacy Group
The Place: Their office in San Francisco
The Food: A veritable cornucopia of fresh fruit, muffins, fresh-brewed coffee, OJ, bagels and donuts. Later in the day, deli sandwiches ranging from salami/cheese to avocado/bean sprout, Jones sodas, chips, chips, chips, crudites, and sparkling water.

So I'm living with my mom, shopping at Goodwill, and getting free meals from various potential employers. This is all either horrifying or hilarious. I choose to see the funny side. Pass me another soda, please.

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Acronyms and slang you'll need to know:

PT: Physical Training = mandatory excersise. Usually in the early morning. Like really, really early in the morning!

METC: Naval Medical Education Training Center= The Navys newest, most advanced, multi-billion dollar Tri-Service Medical Education campus. College for Navy Corpsmen.

"What had happed was...": Did you just get in trouble with the Navy? Speeding ticket? Late to watch? Just plain didn't go in to work today? Craft an AMAZING excuse with class 170's patented line.

Examples include: "Well Chief, what had happed was the sign with the speed limit was obstructed by a... soldier" (when in doubt, always blame the Army)

And who could forget: "Well Captain, sir, what had happed was we were told to do one thing by you, but orders from METC superseded and therefore negated your command. Also the Army said we looked like dorks. And that's not true sir! You know THEY are the ones who look like dorks."

Sick Call: Hospital/Clinic hours dedicated to seeing active duty Navy and Marines with no appointment. Run by Corpsman.

Mando: Mandatory = "Mando PT" "Mando Study Session" or "Mando Fun"

Mando Fun= Direct orders to gather at a certain time, in uniform and participate in a command function. Usuall on one's own time.

Scuttlebutt: A rumor. Or a drinking fountain.

Shipmate: A fellow member of the Navy. Can be used in a sincere manner "let me get the door for you shipmate!" or as code for as$ho!e, "hey thanks for cutting in front of me shipmate!"

Balls: Midnight = "I have watch balls to 3am"

Watch: Duty

Rover: A kind of Watch. You get a partner and walk around the ship, making sure no one steals it.

BAS: Basic Subsistance Allowance = "We don't need to give you time to eat breakfast, we give you BAS. Get some breakfast bars and bring them with you".

Peanut Butters: Navy Service Uniform= black pants with a brown shirt. We all hate them!

Cammies/ NW's: Navy Working Uniform. Blue on Blue digital camoflauge. We love them. Feels like wearing your pj's all day!

Cover: Your hat.

Orders: Where you will be working for the next 2-3 years.

NAVHOSPCORPSCHOOL: Navy Hospital Corps School

OPSEC: Operational Security - "Well sailor, we can't stop you from keeping a blog, but try to remember OPSEC and not post anything the enemy can use... like the high depression rate at this command"

BIG NAVY: The Navy is a corporation. Corporate Headquarters is in DC. Each individual Command is its own little world, operating independently and smoothly... until BIG NAVY decides to throw its weight around. BIG NAVY is "They". "They decided to change the Watchbill". "They" wan mandatory drug testing. "They" are ruining this Command by instituting insane policies that have nothing to do with the mission here. "They" will get you (see Don't Ask, Don't Tell post).